Working Title: Have You Seen the Roomba?
How a moment of panic and anger taught me to let go in a new way.
My Roomba, lovingly called Kirby, has been rolling around my house whilst I ponder the nature of the Universe and organize some things I’ve been putting off. I happened to walk out of my bedroom on my way somewhere and I saw Kirby making off with a cord that my eye traced up to my laptop about to be pulled off my desk to the floor, and it’s a standing desk.
The lightning speed with which I got there to prevent perceived catastrophe was admirable to me, as I don’t think I’ve ever moved that fast with such grace while my insides were screaming for me to panic. That’s new. I knew I had enough time, so without tripping myself up, I got down and gently lifted Kirby off the cord, and off he wobbled out of my sight again, oblivious to my heart slamming in my chest.
After a moment of silence, and letting in that it was okay, something shifted. Once upon a time, that bodily reaction would have sent me into not only panic, but out of control rage because of the scarcity myth that I can’t go buy a great new computer and be just fine in not that long with a little work.
I might then have taken it out on Kirby up to and including breakage. The first thought I gingerly had when I calmed down was maybe I get to make sure that all cords and things Kirby will encounter in the task I asked him to do are safely cleared so he can happily return to his base, having done well because I didn’t carelessly leave breakable things in his way.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault; even had my laptop been broken by my programmed vacuum cleaner on tiny wheels operating in the space I gave it to work in, and a machine that like everything else will mirror back to me that which I give it.
I will no longer break things I can and can’t replace because my emotional re-actions of the past directed my actions. Kirby sat uncharged for a long time and I got him back out because he helps me have peace in my love of a clear space. I get to always buy filters and little bags when he needs them so he and I can thrive. He is not currently able to roll out and buy them himself.
Lots to unpack here all because I finally plugged in the Roomba. Another source of insight is if I switch to the laptop’s point of view, feeling herself sliding closer to the edge of the desk not knowing why.
There’s evil lurking beneath pulling and it’s a long way down! Why am I slowly moving toward what looks like certain demise when all I wanted to do was stay put?
But then it stops and I am slid back to my spot that now smells of orange furniture polish. The random items that were blocking my air intake are now gone and so is the dust I had been accumulating. I feel so much better for having been so scared just a minute ago.
The biggest takeaway from this experience is that I can harness the power of reactive energy for positive change when it screams at me and I choose to behave soundly anyway.
